Strong

I used to be the strong one.

I used to be the one that someone called when he or she was in a jam. I was the one answering the phone when someone needed to talk or cry or yell or just sit. I was the one that others were dependent on. I almost always had the answers.

So what happened?

Why am I now the one calling, searching, and leaning? I know there comes a time in everyone's life when he or she needs to take the opposite role, but I feel like mine has lasted awhile, almost as if I've exhausted my pool of people to lean upon. There are those that call and say "Let me know if there's anything that you need!", but do they really mean it? If I called them, nervous and sleepless at 3 am, would they listen? If I did take them up on their offer, would I suddenly become needy or dependent? Would I see myself as I truly am, or as the worst that I can imagine?

I know that God tells us that when we are weak, then He is strong for us, but how can I see that day to day? Why is that so hard to understand?

Do I even want to be the strong one again?